The Brighter Writer

FRIDAY, JUNE 6, 2014

Captain Krista's Counter Culture

Have you ever seen those clunker cars where the hood or passenger side door is a different color than the rest of the car's body?

We had the culinary equivalent.

We had a clunker kitchen.

The walls were that unfortunate color of hammered down concrete which was bad enough, but in addition the counter tops were the color of Yoda.

Not like a bright, young and energetic Yoda. More like a hungover Yoda who had woken up after just 2 1/2 hours of sleep to find he had rolled over a dirty diaper and was now snuggled up to a big girl with breath smelling of kitty litter.

For further reference, I'll include a photograph.

On the opposite wall there was a lovely laminate counter top sprinkled with multiple shades of tan. It was a beautiful mix of armadillo, peanut shells, pine cone, Indian tee-pee and Tara Reid. I couldn't understand why the previous owners would have replaced one and not the other. But for whatever reason, they didn't.

When we bought the house, replacing the mismatched counter tops was on code red urgency. So much so that in one of our counteroffers to purchasing this quaint little palace, we put in writing that the sellers must disclose to us the place where these new counters were acquired so that we could get the avocado ones out of here as soon as humanly possible.

Turns out; Home Depot.

Easy enough.

Now to tend to these horrific walls.


I was wanting a creamy pastel sort of pale teal color for the paint but none of the color swatches were really what I was going for. Our living room lamps were however that particular shade so I marched one of them into Home Depot and they were able to color match. Technology is amazing.

I know these pictures aren't the best given that they were taken on a cell phone (latest and greatest iPhone or not, an actual camera always does more justice), but my point isn't really the colors as much as the change. Just notice the very drastic shift from the dark side of the moon to the silver lining. My entire mood was lifted like wallets in the streets of Paris with each brush stroke.

Ok, so putting a stop to the discrepancy of the counter tops was a process.

The lady at our local Home Depot was a horrible person with a disastrous personality and to say we didn't hit it off very well would have been an enormous understatement.

Now, I know nothing about home renovation.

I make this no secret.

I've never owned a home, I've never replaced counter tops, I don't even know when the last time I stepped foot in a home improvement store would have been.

However, I'm not an idiot.

I was trying to get through the ordering process just as unscathed as this road-kill of a customer service representative. Turns out, some people have a rough time playing well with others so I ended up telling her to have a nice afternoon (that isn't what I told her) and I went to the other side of town and visited with Fort Collins' other Home Depot.

This new woman was extraordinary. She explained all the steps, how everything would go down and in what order. We matched the laminate, we chose the back splash wall, we decided on the waterfall trim and that was all there was to it. A week after we had a guy from the tile and stone company come to our house to measure, it took 2 1/2 weeks for fabrication, and a week after that it was installed.

Easy Peasy.

We skipped paying the extra cash and took our old tops and sink off ourselves. By ourselves I mean Jason and our friend Grant and absolutely nothing involving myself personally unless you count snapping pictures.

The newbies were installed the following day in under an hour.

This next picture is the one that absolutely kills me. I was just flipping though the pictures from a post a few weeks back called 50 Shades of Pewter Mug and standing from the same point of view the place is so dark! I just can't even believe how much brighter the whole house looks with just a few coats of lighter paint on the walls. If I have any advice for anyone looking to spruce their place up on a budget, just grab of couple of rollers and a head over to your nearest home improvement store (NOT the Home Depot on the corner of Lemay and Mulberry in Fort Collins, Colorado). It's the biggest bang for your buck for sure.

With order restored in the kitchen area and a brightness breathing life back into our little cave, I feel much more at ease with posting some summer recipes in the near future.

However, for now I'm going to do nothing but sit. It's been 2 months of remodeling and I need a bit of a break. I've been sick all week with a hellacious head cold and there is an Adirondack chair, a brand new Tom Robbins book, and a glass of iced tea in the back yard screaming my name.

Have a great weekend!

Saint Paul defined faith as "a belief in things unseen." Well, I believe in unseen things. Don't you? Love. Electricity. Flatulence. -Tom Robbins, Tibetan Peach Pie