FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 8, 2013
Celebrities Without Eyebrows
I saw a girl at work the other day with completely drawn on eyebrows.
They were totally shaved or plucked or whatever, and then literally drawn back onto her face with brown eyeliner.
Which (of course) got me to wondering what she looked like when she washed her face at night.
Probably super weird.
And then I started to wonder (of course) what other people looked like without eyebrows.
So in spirit of November when men grow out their mustaches as part of the "Movember" movement, and as a celebration of hair on people's faces in general, I bring to you my montage of eyebrow-less celebrities.
You know, because why not?
Let me preface this by saying, I have too much time on my hands. Clearly.
And also that I was halfway done with this project before I even gave myself a chance to think about it. It wasn't until I got a phone call from a friend of mine in California asking me "Whatcha doin?" that I really thought about the words coming out of my mouth: "Just eating candy and Photoshopping eyebrows off celebrity's faces. What are you up to?"
Brad Pitt, you cheating-on-Jennifer-Aniston-sonofabitch. No eyebrows for you.
Eminem, quit being so angry all the damn time. Grab a Slurpee and a newspaper from 7-11, read the comics, have a giggle and chill out every once in a while. No eyebrows for you.
Johnny Depp, you swashbuckling schizophrenic dreamboat. Enough with the eyeliner already. No eyebrows for you.
Justin Timberlake - we all remember you wore an all denim suit along with matching hat in alliance with the dress of your then girlfriend Britney Spears at one point in your life. No eyebrows for you.
(as a reminder:)
Katy Perry, you're annoying as hell. No eyebrows for you.
Kim Kardashian, because what have you ever done besides have a fat ass and leak your own sex tape to the paparazzi? Why are you even famous?? No eyebrows for you.
Miley Cyrus, try learning how to dance or play an instrument or sing on key instead of having to hump a giant foam finger to stay relevant. No eyebrows for you.
George Clooney, you have the eyebrows of a god, and I was just curious to know what you looked like without them. I really don't have anything against your distinguished handsome self. Sorry, no eyebrows for you.
Rihanna, you let Chris Brown kick your ass and then went back to him with open arms for all little girls around the world take note of. Whether you or anyone else in this world actually wants you as a role model is beside the point, you unfortunately are one anyway. I had a super long term boyfriend beat me up once. Guess where he is now? Oh yeah, I don't care because he beat me up!
If Chris Brown is allowed to mangle your face, so am I. No eyebrows for you.
And the crem de la crem, the kid from Twilight, Robert Pattinson. I hate those movies. They're stupid. No eyebrows for you.