The Brighter Writer





SATURDAY, MARCH 8, 2014

It's Always Sunny In California


So vacationing isn't as relaxing as I had originally hoped.

Kalynn came home sick from school last week with the flu. I thought my mommy super powers would have kicked in at this point but apparently even the super-est of matriarchs aren't excluded from the super-est of barf attacks.

We were driving to Denver International Airport when it started to really hit me.

I was doing ok even after checking our baggage, but the tram ride (anyone who knows the Denver airport knows what I'm talking about here) from drop off to Terminal C made me terminally sea-sick.

I spent 45 minutes kneeling on the airport bathroom floor tossing my cookies while my precious kiddo sat and played the iPad with the patience of a saint.

"I still love you, Mommy. I'll take care of you."

I was so afraid I was going to miss our boarding call but equally afraid to leave the toilet so my thinking was going to need to be quick, proficient, and sly.

And then it dawned on me that when I was pregnant with Kalynn flying to New York, they let me pre-board because pregnancy is considered a temporary disability. So I whipped up some tears (which wasn't hard to do) and explained that my "morning sickness" was really kicking in and that I needed to be boarded as quickly as possible to insure my closeness to the bathrooms.

Now.

I know that lying about a pregnancy to get myself into or out of a situation isn't the morally correct thing to do here. I'm also aware that by doing something like this I'm exploiting all the generosity that people have for pregnancy all over the globe.

However.

I've never felt so shitty or thrown up so many times in my entire life.

(and I'm even including the hangover of 2011 so you can trust me when I say it was bad)

So they sat me and my daughter in the front row, gave me 4 barf bags, 2 trash bags, ginger ale, and vanilla wafers.

Sometimes you have to do what you have to do.

I made it through the flight, but not out of baggage claim before my sickness reared it's ugly little head and reminded me that I needed to get back to my mom's house as quickly as possible.

So far, it's been a day and a half and I'm starting to finally feel a little better. We've hit up In-N-Out Burger and Sunset Beach but that's about it. I've been posted up in bed the remainder of the time and plan on doing exactly that for the rest of today.

We have the next 2 days with Disneyland written all over it so this ass kicker better move along as quickly as it has arrived...

I'll keep you posted.